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  DR. PHILLIP D. FLETCHER

Kindness to Build the Self and the World

5/27/2025

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Marie does not possess many material items. She lives in a small one bedroom trailer on the backside of the trailer park. The years have not been kind to her physically as she deals with scoliosis and hearing loss.  Marie, despite the physical limitations takes time to bake cookies for her neighbors.  Her warm offerings provide a loving gift to a few children, an elderly couple, and a young college student. Marie while weak physically demonstrates a strength builds connection between neighbors.  

Marie embodies kindness. She is a human being acting and speaking, empowering others to replicate similar behaviors towards the self and others. A home, neighborhood, or society which experience kindness become places supportive of human flourishing. Kindness in leadership, particularly in nonprofits, creates a culture where individuals feel valued, empowered, and inspired to extend similar kindness to others, fostering a cycle of positive change.

Understanding Kindness as an Action and a Virtue

A kind act accomplished at one particular point in time can have an impact on the subject of that action. In that particular moment isolation is replaced with companionship; hunger is satiated; a thirst is quenched.  An isolated act of kindness can be compared to a band aid placed on an scraped knee. The consistent practice of kindness can produce a type of excellence which can be experienced by giver and receiver alike. The virtue of kindness can move from an isolated action to a daily practice through contemplation and practice. Aristotle promotes the importance of an individual taking time to reflect on the kind, quality, and implications of the virtue. From the point of contemplation, an individual can develop the habit of the particular virtue. An individual looking for opportunities at home, in the workplace, or other social settings can begin to experience a gradual change leading to improved character.   

Intentional kindness as a result of some serious reflection can reinforce positive self-perception, promoting healthier relationships and greater emotional resilience. How I view myself has such an impact on my daily life. Internally, when I view myself as assertive, personable, and energetic, my approach towards my daily tasks are more successful. Yet when I find myself in moments of struggle wrestling with my PTSD, my movements and communication are with a serious limp. Intentional kindness can offer the internal and external strength influencing a better view of the self. In other words, doing good can lead to being good. 

Kindness and Self-Perception

I am my worst critic. I offer significantly more grace to others than I do myself. Standing in the mirror daily looking at my imperfections, physical and psychological, I recognize I could be better and I want to be better. Kindness if it is to be poured out on others and the world, must begin with myself.  The world is difficult and honestly, the greatest problems I must confront are not the systems which advance homelessness or contribute to illiteracy among the youth; the problems I constantly face are internal. I can choose an emotional hammer as the implement to deal with how I perceive myself or choose measures which consider the complexities of my personality to assess growth and where I still need to mature.
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Kindness can serve as the tool to build a better man and a better world, if I courageously choose. 
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